Categories: Sober living

Ask Erin: I Think Sobriety Is Killing My Marriage

At the same time, don’t give up hope—if both of you are truly committed to saving your marriage, building a new and healthy relationship is possible. The recovering addict needs to focus on sobriety and may not always be able to prioritize the relationship, and his or her spouse must understand this. Of course, the addict’s ability to maintain sobriety will be essential to your ability to maintain the marriage as well.

  • Some people use drugs to hide difficult feelings and go through a difficult situations.
  • Responsible for maintaining one of the most unique properties in the nation, Leroy manages all aspects of Burning Tree’s two-thousand acre ranch.
  • Therapy can make a big impact on repairing your marriage after addiction treatment.
  • He didn’t have a job and was struggling to find one because the country where we live is a bit tricky for job-seeking male spouses.

Sometimes you don’t get to rebound from disaster. Sometimes it just hurts too much. When you and your spouse receive couples therapy for drug addiction together, you can address your individual issues and work together on the underlying problems. Support groups are another helpful resource, where you and your spouse can learn from the experiences of others and receive support from those who have been where you are. During your or your spouse’s recovery process, there may be an opportunity to attend family or marriage counseling. Just as you need help overcoming the chains of addiction, the marriage trauma after substance abuse should be addressed with professional assistance.

Find Support

The therapists & staff are beyond supportive. The accommodations, food and amenities are better than even the best hotel. And most of all, the recovery program is powerful, educational, thorough, and thoughtfully designed. Contact us today for more information or to speak to one of our addiction counselors.

  • Dr. Navarra works with couples in recovery and he provides resources and support for couples who have been impacted by addiction and are now in recovery.
  • Speak openly about how addiction hurt you and how you think you both can take action to mend it.
  • My husband and I had to get to know each other all over again.
  • During your treatment, trained rehabilitation professionals can address your individual detox and healing needs.

Your partner may relapse one or more times before finally achieving long-term sobriety. Codependency keeps people from having healthy relationships, so unless this dynamic is changed, sobriety may not be enough to keep the cycle from continuing. Recovery from substance use disorder can cause many changes in your marriage — not all of them positive. But with support, your marriage can survive. Shelia Sirls serves as Client Care Manager for Burning Tree Ranch. With a 30-year background in behavioral health, Sheila assists our clients in developing the needed life skills to support a full life in recovery.

Addiction Treatment Services

So, interdependencies, good co-dependency, that’s just the opposite. Like we’re not spending much time talking to each other with each other. It’s important to me that we figure out how to increase the amount of time we spend together just talking about what’s going on.

And find a therapist through gottman.com or Endor. There’s a lot of resources for couples in terms of the art sites of love workshop, for instance, on that you can download on demand, that kind of thing. So, there’s, there’s resources there. There’s the Gottman blog, there’s the there’s a lot of things you can check out there. My specialty is working with couples impacted by addiction, who are now in recovery.

Tips for providing support

The lessons we learned are not gender specific, and the ebook is applicable for husbands of alcoholic wives in recovery, and same sex marriages as well. Social media is full of what I refer to as rainbows and cotton candy posts about sobriety from addiction. I don’t get much out of the unicorns and bubblegum inspiration about how everyday is perfect in sobriety.

  • Sometimes you have to move backward before you can ever hope to go forward.
  • Shelley’s strengths are strong organization skills, taking initiative, and using her sense of humor in her day-to-day job.
  • Say we’ve been impacted by addiction and recovery.
  • Creating a healthy routine after rehab helps people in early recovery improve mental and physical health.
  • It will take time to rebuild trust so it’s important to not put pressure on each other and instead take it one day at a time.

Many books address the challenges of an individual getting sober from substance use disorders. However, it is rare to read a book that integrates the parallel recovery process that is necessary for couples in which one individual is in sobriety and the other is not. Before we get into the nitty-gritty of the steps you and your spouse can take to get your marriage back on track, it’s important to understand how addiction affects your https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/how-marriage-changes-after-sobriety/ relationship. With any type of addiction, you’re likely to feel shame and guilt as you begin to realize just how much your actions have impacted your spouse and family. This can make it hard to explain to your spouse exactly why you acted the way you did, and it can also make it difficult to receive genuine empathy. It can be particularly difficult to open up and communicate with your spouse when you’re in the midst of an addiction.

How to Recognize and Deal with Opioid Addiction

We have newfound respect for ourselves and confidence in our abilities. We feel strong, brave and independent. We don’t doubt our worthiness anymore. We don’t allow ourselves to be disrespected or our boundaries to be crossed. We demand that our needs be met and that we be heard, respected and treated well.

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